In the latest issue of Spin, Demetri Martin gives us his own Festival Tips (called Festival Dos and Don'ts). Stereogum posted a good set of these already.
This one actually made me laugh out loud.
DON'T JOIN A DRUM CIRCLE
Avoid, avoid, avoid the drum circle -- we're looking at you, Bonnaroo. Scientists, in two independent studies, recently proved that the drum circle is the most annoying shape civilization has ever produced.
---Demetri Martin, Spin (5/07)
He provides illustrations, including the "very rare; also annoying" Drum Parallelogram. In my experience, it's always been more rhombus than straight up parallelogram. There has to be some symmetry, otherwise the beat just sucks. Get your facts straight, Demetri...
i usually set up a wook-snare and then get out my djembe... i'll play for a few minutes until the wooks start coming out of the trees... if and when an alpha-wook should appear, i spring the trap... i only have a 15% success rate because the kevlar snare that i use usually ends up getting tangled in the wooks dreaddies... i have been relocating wooks to their natural habitats (hillsides in vermont, venice beach, frisco, rochester ny) for 10 years now
Do sixth graders know what a "Parallelogram" is?
I mean, come on, who else but sixth graders are reading spin?
Scientists also confirmed we are depleting all our resources at a rate that is going to doom our civilizations. But does that stop magazines like Spin from promoting shitty music and the consumer-heavy lifestyle that comes with the pop culture? No, of course not, not a pang of conscience.
At least the drum beating hippies are in tune with reality. Go on and keep churing out your pulp printed fictions, Spin.
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2007 Siren Music Festival | Early Lineup
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